I don't know where these stories come from...

Chappy, stick the granny's packs of gum so will you take the Sancho tortilla go home right said Ned commended the regaleous frumpiest bacoot.

Nah, just Teddy.

Teddy?

Yeah.

Well, it has been a marksnar since Teebo paid the supervisor.

You don't say?

Indeed. Rasp was what did 'im.

Aye.

He goes back to Tiegue on a Sunday. I wish 'im luck I does.

Am I supposed to be writing this down?

YES! Why not you?

Oh?

YES! YES!

Okay, well, what was all that stuff you said in the beginning?

I don't know. I'm drunk.

I takes me orders from a drunk and I won't be having less. Lest I cut off your beard.

YOU WOULDN'T DARE YOU SMELLY SHRIMP!

Hey hey! No calling me shrimp now, drunken sir. Now continue what you were saying.

Where was I? Oh yes, I called ya a shrimp.

Aye. A shrimp. How many W's in the word?

None, if I recall.

Aye.

And one of those.

One what sir?

One I in shrimp.

*gulps down the remainder of his mug*

Sir, would I be fetchin' you another ale?

No need, Shrimp.-

That shrimp business gain!

DON'T YOU BE INTERRUPTIN' ME! Where am I?

Sir, I told you before. We set sail about 7 hours ago. We're in the deeps.

SEVEN HOURS AGO? WHY AREN'T WE THERE YET! I'LL MURDER EVERY ASSHOLE ON THIS SHIP!

Including yourself?

I'LL BE THE FIRST TO GO!

I think I've made a mistake.

*drops notepad and jumps off the side of the ship. Unfortunately he's eaten alive by sharks and what have you*

Man, I thought that guy would NEVER leave. Privacy, at last!

*has sex with an empty beer barrel where the spigot used to be*

THE END!

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