So I got my refund from the government or whatever it's called. (Sad that I don't know. Tax check? Social Security check?) I was so happy I emptied the first class envelope over my bed and let the check flutter out. Then I put on some Sade, stripped down to my underwear and rolled around on my check like Demi Moore from Indecent Proposal. It wasn't as exciting as it was portrayed in the movie. At the very least I wanted to feel like Uncle Scrooge taking a dip in his money bin. No dice. I felt very foolish about the whole thing.
When I went to deposit the check the bank teller saw how wrinkled it was and questioned me. (That's fair. Tax returns should be immediately deposited or cashed. There's little opportunity for those things to get wrinkled let alone folded.) I did what I usually do in such situations: I looked down at my shoes and responded in mumbled gibberish.
"Jshh kut. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF."
"Why is this so WRINKLED?"
"Oh forget it."