Bullshtikin' Nuh Twizzang


Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, Hammer
Corrosive?
Forty miles.
Twenty miles.
Sixteen miles.
TEN MILES.
TWO FUCKING MILES!!!
Alert! Alert! Alert!
Koooooooooooooooooooooooosh. Pssss. Pffff. Bssssss.
"I've never told you this."
"And you NEVER WILL!"
Splshh. Spltt. Poit.
"Ah, that sweet metallic taste. Yummy yum yum yum yum yum yum yum y-y-y-y-y..."
Crimson? CLICHE!
ACIDIC! Cliche?
Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.
Dtill Sirty.
Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.Wash your hands.
Co Slean.
Ah, now you can see the bone.
Boney macaroni. A bony macaroni. I said a bo-
ONE MILE(S)!
My life flashing before my eyes. Oh wait, getting feedback.
My life echoing before my eyes.
"Ransom?"
"Paid."
"THEN WHY AM I DEAD?"
*shock*
Vaporization.
Nongenderization.
Angelization.
*poof* Wings!
*poof* Halo!
*poof* A motherfucking harp like in cartoons!
'Why are my wings and halo black?'
"Because heaven is polluted, my child."
'Who said that?'
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?"
'Why God, what big eyes you have.'
"The better to see with my child. I see everything. Including that last minute frottage you had with your unconscious bunk mate."
'God, I was told that last minute sex during an apocalypse was spiteful, so why am I still here?'
"Because, my son, I work in mysterious ways."
'God?'
"Yeah?"
'Be honest here. Were you the best lay Mary ever had?'
"Ah yeah, well, you know. Ol' G got dat magic stick. Bitch was callin' my name 'n' shit. Knamean playa playa? You hear bitches say the urf moved? Son, I made the GALAXY SHAKE. Baby baby, yeeeeah. She was callin me all types a names. She never walked straighted ever again. She started bleedin from her eyeziz. She want to abort little J but I told her to chillax. When young J came out, Joseph was all like, 'That little nigga ain't mine. Look at my face and look at his! I got more hair than that baby! Bitch you won't even let me touch you anymore! You say I got you pregnant? Sheeeit. I knew you was a trick up wit dem three wise men. Sheeeyiiiitt-t-t-t-t-t-t-' But I made JoSEPH see the light."
'Jesus Christ, why are you speaking so retarded? It was a simple question! Damn. Look at all those spelling errors.'
"Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. HEY. Shut up shut up! You asked!"
'Why God, what a big mouth you have. And teeth!'
"My son, it's all over."
*EAT ATTACK*
suddenly|instantly
veryloud|veryquiet
explodey|implodey
uppy|downy
trippy|steady
And as I was consumed. My flesh did not burn. Though it WAS hot. Light shined out of every orifice. And not just the poopin' peein' eatin' kind. We're talking eyeballs here too. I burned with the fire of many suns more stars hearts clovers and rainbows. And if you were to eat me I'd be delicious. All this energy just powered out of me. Every fucking cell. Then suddenly.
-this all happens in silence. but it happens-
whiteness, slowly and gradually, very gradually, fills with blackness, still silent, planets and stars and everything in between explode, violent, yet silent, not a sound, vicious, brutal, planets cracking into one another, the cosmos, stardust, the end, or it it a new beginning?

"Or is it a new beginning? What the hell?" She feels...unsatisfied. "Are you just going to end it like that? Hey!" He had fallen asleep as she was reading. She reads fucking slow. It's terrible. "I said, hey!"

He forced himself awake. "Whaaat? Man, I was in such a good fantasy right now. You ruined it. The girls actually had faces this time." He digs into the corners of his eyes. Yeah, that's how fucking slow she reads! Can you believe it?

"What is this? Your story isn't finished. 'Or is it a new beginning?' That's lazy. I liked where it was going until you just up and stopped. Finish it!" She looks down at the crusty-eyed asshole half-asleep in her lap.

"It's over, baby. I had to end it on a high note." He picks himself up and dusts off his jeans. Do I have to keep writing this descriptive shit? FINE!

"But all that buildup!" SHE EATS A FUCKING SANDWICH.

"What? Listen, I was just bullshitting. None of that means anything. Give it a rest." Hands in his pockets, he walks away.

"Wasn't there symbolism?" She follows after him. WHILE EATING A DESCRIPTIVELY BIG SANDWICH.

"No." He's all callous and shit.

"You're a fucking tease, you know that?" She said that with her mouth full.

"Hey, have we fucked before? Hello, it's what I do. Now let's go home so's I can side saddle you." He walks quickly this asshole!

"I'm not a fan of the side saddle!" She totally is. She's so totally into that side saddle shit. He hits deep, you know? She's all about sandwiches today, though. What the hell am I writing?

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OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. I can't think of a way to properly end this so fuck it. I'm ending it here. It was going nowhere anyway. And you should have seen this coming.