So there's this miserable looking playground thing in my neighborhood. It’s in this cramped area surrounded by bars. It used to be bigger but they cut it down to a quarter its original size to make room for a parking lot.
My friends and I used to hang out there on Wednesdays after school. This was when I was still going to St. Nicholas grade school and my friend Jennifer still lived in the building. It was sweet because Wednesday was a half day so we had a nice two hours to just chill. We didn't actually play, we just loitered on the swings and bitched about our teachers and whatever.
But the park officially sucks now. Children no longer play here. The only activity I ever see is old ladies sitting and chatting. And even they don't do it as often. Here we have a beautiful fucking day and no one's here.
They should have just demolished the whole thing if they wanted a parking lot because there's not enough room for children's to run free and play. Look how high the fucking gate is! It’s basically a prison. The gate was waist-high before. That gate is like a fuck you to any kid that walks by. I get that it’s private property and part of the building but come-on. Isn’t this a little much?
And the biggest bunder, they replaced the swings with a slide? A FUCKING SLIDE? Slides are bullshit! Slides are great going down but then you have to climb back up there and do it again. At least with a swing you can just sit on your ass and relax. And look how much space that monstrosity occupies! Ugh, ugh, triple ugh.
New York photographer, party mammal, and Internet troll for hire. Alain-Christian is an OG who’s been blogging for over 20 years dating back to the early days of AOL. He loves sharing his offbeat opinions on pop culture, bestowing his tech knowledge, and making arts.