"And where's a niisqau like you going at a farble like this?"
"Spare me yee bits! This is But country."
"Sir I must tend to my lady."
"She has the urge."
"The urge, TO PURGE!"
(points to bucket)
"I see. Very well. Tend to your lady's bulimia. Make haste!"
"I was. Before you stopped me."
"What was THAT? Say it into my GOOD ear."
"Nothing sir! I beg you a thousand pardons."
"That's right you do. Now before you go, is that charmpoo up to code?"
"Yes sir. I just had 'im inspected."
"I think the genitals are too big."
"No sir! The genitals are just the right length! Please, I must hurry!"
He eyes the charmpoo's genitals. "Okay, it looks about right."
"Thanks you sir!"
"Yes, well. Scurry about. Can't keep a bulimic waiting now."
What the fuck just happened?
New York photographer, party mammal, and Internet troll for hire. Alain-Christian is an OG who’s been blogging for over 20 years dating back to the early days of AOL. He loves sharing his offbeat opinions on pop culture, bestowing his tech knowledge, and making arts.