- Because All the Good Names Are Taken - Because All the Good Names Are Taken

Update 11 Nov 2018: This site is longer in service but you can still do this type of thing via the namechk site. It lets you check your name against 99 social sites and domain registrars so it’s a lot more powerful than the Usernamecheck of old.

I'll never forget how upset a friend of mine was because he tried to register the name Goku on AIM but it was already taken. This was almost a decade ago. Imagine trying to register a unique name on AIM (with no numbers in it) today? Well first of all if your account on anything has numbers at the end of it you already lost. You lost twice of those numbers are your birthdate. You lost THREE times if you named yourself after a cartoon/anime/comic character. There are rare occasions when choosing names like that is super clever but those are the exception that proves the rule.

Where was I going with this? First, my friend is an idiot for wanting to name himself Goku in the first place. Second, this website allows you to type in a user name and check it against over 9000 twitter clones. And by twitter clones I mean those websites also don't make any revenue.

My favorite twitter clone is! (Moar liek fecal, amirite?) I guess not all the good names were taken. I have two problems with Feecle:

  1. The site is in Japanese.

  2. My gaijin phone is apparently blocked from sending mobile updates.

The language barrier wasn't a problem thanks to Google translator, but not being able to use my phone was a dealbreaker. I guess I'll stay with twitter for now. Aside from the Feecle matter (heh) I had fun messing with this thing. Of course, the first thing I did was try all the phishing names I could think of:

  • admin

  • administrator

  • username

  • help

  • superuser

  • default

  • login

  • access

  • helpdesk

  • abuse

  • spam

  • feedback

  • support

  • system

  • root

  • report

  • contact

  • mail

I probably lost two hours playing with this.

I probably lost two hours playing with this.

Most of those usernames were obviously pre-registered. Though I can't believe the username "username" had a whopping 53 hits! Are people just assuming that field was entered for them? I would have also tried "enter your name here" but technically that wouldn't work. I didn't register any phish accounts but I used to do that back when AOL was still household brand. I think I'll save that story for another time...

I tried some other names too. Goku only had 36 results, I guess DBZ isn't as popular as it used to be. Naruto had 44 hits out of 68. This is actually a good thing, in my opinion, because it means people are being more creative with their usernames. There's hope for us yet, buttizens of the Intertwat! Anonymous got 48 hits, no surprise there.

Then I tried those stupid names that 16-year-old girls always use like sasibaby4u or ~*SparklePrettyUnicunt*~ but I did not get many results. Oddly, names like that usually have numbers at the end so why aren't the ones without numbers taken? For what it's worth princess got as many results as Anonymous. I don't know what that means but I don't think it's a coincidence. I tried Superman and that got 51 results. No surprise there, the Tubes are clogged with neckbeards.

I tried hit all 68 sites with a registered name but the most I got was 57 with "james."

New York photographer, party mammal, and Internet troll for hire. Alain-Christian is an OG who’s been blogging for over 20 years dating back to the early days of AOL. He loves sharing his offbeat opinions on pop culture, bestowing his tech knowledge, and making arts.