Yesterday morning I'm on the train when from the corner of my eye a woman's handbag captures my attention. I didn't know why I was looking at it but I figured if I stared long enough at the pattern—as if it were a stereogram—I would see what my unconscious was trying to show me. Then suddenly, DICKS EVERYWHERE! I tried to dismiss it, but this is one of those situations where once you see something you can't unsee it.
I had seen the logo before but the way it was patterned on this particular bag was quite jolting! I looked for an example online but my search was unsuccessful. The handbag was plastered with large circles about the circumference of the bottom ring of a big gulp and at the center of them the Etienne Aigner logo was randomly positioned.
At the time I didn't know who Etienne Aigner was and I sketched the logo for later reference. I didn't want to ask the woman carrying the aforementioned handbag because I didn't want her to feel bad about her purchase. I wasn't going to tell her the genuine reason for my query but I didn't want to attract attention to her bag in a crowded subway car. In hindsight I was clearly overthinking it. People ask each other abut fashion all the time. Why am I so weird?
I showed my sketch to some random women around the city and in the office. (Because that makes more sense than asking the lady on the train in the first place, right? Going around the city asking women to identify the penis I crudely drew in a notebook with a fashion brand? I’m dumb.) The ones who recognized the logo could not place the designer's name. Eventually I showed my mother—she likes to window shop on the Internet—and she knew exactly who the designer was. I booted up the Etienne Aigner website, saw his logo, then laughed uncontrollably before passing out.
From the official website:
The Aigner logo is recognized worldwide as a symbol representing tradition, innovation and trends. Aigner is proud of a distinct heritage that has evolved to combine modern creations with a singular Aigner style known for exclusive materials and the finest leathers.
Part of me wonders if this was intentional... I probably sound like someone from back in the day telling you there's hidden penises in cigarette advertisements but I'd like to think the Etienne Aigner logo makes for a more obvious phallus than Joe Camel's nose.
By the way, I'd like to thank Andy Shaw for mentioning me on this week's Shaw Promotion e-mail blast. I wasn't even expecting that, thank you so much! I'm feeling the love right now. It's a warm and sunny mutual love. Wow, OVER 9000 people are going to read this and have their lives changed forever. No longer will the Etienne Aigner be a cutesy amalgamation of the letter 'A' and letter 'E'. You're welcome?
New York photographer, party mammal, and Internet troll for hire. Alain-Christian is an OG who’s been blogging for over 20 years dating back to the early days of AOL. He loves sharing his offbeat opinions on pop culture, bestowing his tech knowledge, and making arts.