I don't actively pursue anime anymore. I employ the RSS downloader in uTorrent to download movies, OVAs and first episodes of new shows. As I'm sure you can imagine, I end up with a lot of video to sift through. When I find a show I like I add it to my subscriptions. I end up deleting most of it but going through the pile is part of the fun.
And that’s what I was doing when I happened upon Naruto Shippuden Movie 2. I was surprised to see it because Naruto videos almost never wind up in there. Then it dawned on me that I didn't even know they made a first one. I was curious and played the file.
The movie begins with the letters “NS” centered on screen and some janky rock music playing in the background. I thought, "Okay, that's weird. I guess that stands for Naruto Shippuden? Is this how it's supposed to begin?" A few beats later the words "New Sensations" crawl to the lower thirds of the screen to underline “NS.” I’m thinking, "New Sensations? What? Wait, why does that sound familiar?"
The video didn't allow me much time to search my memory because the next thing I saw was a young starlet dressed as a school girl giving some guy a, uh, hand massage? Might I add, this spectacle was perfectly in beat with the rock music.
I got porned, basically.
The video was uploaded to NyaaTorrents the 24th of August; however, you won't find it now because it’s no longer listed. I gather whomever posted the file stopped seeding after they got their laughs. This type of trolling happens on NyaaTorrents a lot.
This porn troll was a first, at least for me. The typical trolling I see is files with intentionally shitty encodes, trollish subtitles, spoilers, or large files with only two minutes of content. The files are usually tagged with the name of an established fansub groups to trick you—or your client—into downloading it.
I'm not complaining, I usually find it funny. It used to read on all the tracker pages, "NyaaTorrents will never ever ban you or record any private information." It now says something else but I wonder if that message influenced the hoax torrent seeders. It should be noted that hoax or troll torrents are not a new phenomenon; even established groups will put out something fake to mess with their subscribers.
I don't know if it's my OCD or what but part of me thought I would find something anime related in that porno. This sounds like a joke premise but I swear I’m serious. I honestly thought it would suddenly cut to anime in the middle somewhere. I guess like a double joke on anybody who thought they got lucky with free porn? After looking through the video I didn’t find any anime. Then I watched it a few more times to be sure. (Yes, that last part was a joke.)
New York photographer, party mammal, and Internet troll for hire. Alain-Christian is an OG who’s been blogging for over 20 years dating back to the early days of AOL. He loves sharing his offbeat opinions on pop culture, bestowing his tech knowledge, and making arts.